


Because the Stars

by idrilhadhafang



Series: 69 More Kinks of Darkpilot [10]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alpha Poe, Alpha/Omega, Child Abandonment, Communication, Evil Snoke, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Ben Solo, Omega Verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:25:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: When Ben first gets into a relationship with Poe, he goes off the heat suppressants. He doesn't know that this decision may change not only their lives, but the galaxy's.





	1. Cycle

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: For the alpha/omegaverse prompt. I am so sorry.

  
The first time that Ben goes off his heat suppressants, he fears that he may actually go mad. The first time he went into heat he thought that he was going mad, that there was something wrong with him. Now, he’s aware that there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s perfectly natural, all of it. It’s beautiful, even. There’s nothing disgusting about sex unless you’re using it to hurt someone.

  
The problem is that he wants Poe. Very, very badly. This body has been all too aware of what it’s missed ever since he first went on the suppressants, and everything seems to be hyper-sensitized.

  
“Are you ready?” Poe says softly, and Ben says yes. He’s ready. He knew he was ready when he went off the heat suppressants, and that’s why he went off them.

  
Poe is the first to shed his clothes, and Ben can’t stop staring at his body for a long moment – the smooth skin, the muscled upper belly and adorably convex lower belly, and Ben is amazed just looking at it.

  
“You’re beautiful,” he says. “Absolutely beautiful.”

  
Even in his lust-filled haze, Ben can’t help but feel self-conscious about his body as he undresses – his height, his muscle, his skinniness, the bit of fat on his stomach he’s never been able to work off. And he can’t help but be nervous. Will Poe still want him when he sees what he looks like?

  
Poe does. His eyes – it’s not just a look of lust there, a need to mate, but also a sort of reverence, as if Ben is incredibly beautiful.

  
And even in his haze, Ben can’t help but be incredibly moved.

  
Poe steps forward. “You’re so beautiful,” he says. “You have no idea how much I’ve longed to touch you, to feel you.”

  
“Touch me then.”

  
Poe does, and Ben finds that those pilot’s hands aren’t just skilled at flying; they’re skilled at a whole variety of different things.


	2. Mated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben gets pregnant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It’s not long after their first time that Ben gets pregnant.

  
He supposes he should have seen the signs – the nausea, the anger that just seems to be getting worse Day by day, but he’s terrified when he actually senses his child for the first time. What kind of father will he be? He can still remember the fights between his parents while their tiny son curled up in the corner in fear, he can still remember his father’s absences, his mother leaving him on Yavin IV.

And how will the Order react? Stars, how will they react? Even Uncle Luke’s own family hasn’t resolved the issue of family.

  
He arrives at Poe’s doorstep and he already feels like he’s delivering bad news. Poe’s cooking when he shows up and Ben’s already starving just smelling the cooking, just entering the house. Finally, he finds his voice when Poe asks him what’s wrong.

  
“Poe,” he says. “I’m pregnant.”

  
***

  
Poe has to admit he’s nervous. There’s some nervousness about being a father when he’s only twenty three. There’s some of the scrutiny following them both – especially Ben, which just makes Poe angry. How can anyone treat his beloved mate like he’s anything less than beautiful? Treat their child as less than beautiful. His beloved mate is getting so big, so round – even putting a hand on his growing belly to feel the child inside, to feel when a heartbeat develops and when the baby starts to kick – it’s amazing. They spend the honeymoon limited in what they can do, but they talk to their growing child, and Poe indulges Ben’s seemingly strange cravings for different sorts of food. Even when Ben’s craving a whole tub of ice cream, Poe gives him that. When Ben has to puke, Poe holds his head. He watches his mate grow, his already convex stomach becoming larger.

  
And when Ben gives birth, Poe is there by his side. The whole process is agonizing, and yet it’s worth it, so very worth it, when their daughter comes into the galaxy, sticky and wailing all the while. Later she’s bundled up and she looks up at Ben and Poe both even as Ben runs gentle fingers over her face.   
“She’s beautiful,” Ben says.

  
“I know.” Poe’s grinning; he can’t stop himself. “We did it, angel. We made her. This is ours.”  
Their daughter blinks up at them, clearly curious as to what’s going on, and Ben smiles.

  
“Welcome to the galaxy, dear heart,” he says. “We’ve been waiting for you.”


	3. Shattered Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation with Luke brings up uncomfortable revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

  
They name her Shara, after Poe’s mother, and despite the scrutiny thrown at her thanks to her parentage, Ben is happy with her. Happy when he comes home to see her and she runs to him, hugging his leg (and Ben is still amazed with how small she is), happy playing with her, pretending that she’s an X-Wing pilot, happy to see her and Poe. They really do mean everything to him, they both do. And even looking over at the tiny girl who has Poe’s coloring and Ben’s eyes, Ben vows that she’ll never know disappointment or pain.   
It’s also a thrill watching her grow, watching her learn to speak. She still speaks in fragments, things like “Daddy at the door?” and she has a very interesting way of pronouncing words (“picture” as “pick-cha”, for example), and just watching her learn how to speak is amazing. Her learning to walk, her learning to read.

  
But even paradise has to be shattered at one point.

  
It’s one weekend that Uncle Luke comes to visit, and Shara is pretty shy when she sees him – Ben wonders if she’s sensing something even he isn’t, considering that he’s known Uncle Luke longer than she has. He doesn’t know what exactly Uncle Luke is here for. Just a visit? He has a sick feeling that there’s more to it than that.

  
They settle in, exchange pleasantries, all while Ben has a sick feeling that there’s something ugly lurking underneath the surface. He tells Shara, gently, to go upstairs, and Shara does.  
Then Uncle Luke drops the bombshell.   
“Shara has…extraordinary Force abilities,” Uncle Luke says. “From what I’ve seen of her. But they’re uncontrolled, and could cause damage if they’re not reined in.”

  
“Shara’s not dangerous.”

  
“I know, I know,” Uncle Luke says mollifyingly, “But she has to be taught to master these Force abilities. She’s tapping into powers she barely understands, and she has to be taught to control it.”

  
Ben swallows. “What are you proposing?”

  
“That I train her personally. At the Academy.”

  
But it’s more than that. Ben can still remember how horrifying it was when his mother first dropped him off (he doesn’t say abandoned. Even that idea is too terrifying) at the Academy. The ship flying away even as he pleaded for it to come back –

  
“Kids don’t like being separated from their parents like that.”

  
“It doesn’t mean you can’t see her – ”

  
“But just not as often.” Even that evokes images for Ben that he doesn’t want. Will he be able to watch her grow up, or will it just be sporadic? “Uncle, I can’t do this. I just can’t. It’s unfair to her. It’s like…”

  
He wants to say “what Mom did to me”, but he can’t find the words. He wishes he didn’t feel all but struck mute in that moment.

  
“It’s like abandonment,” he finally manages to say.

  
“Ben – ”

  
“It’s like what Mom did to me.”

  
“Your mother didn’t abandon you.”

  
“She left me there on Yavin and for what, exactly?” Ben’s voice cracks even as he says it, and Poe places a hand on his shoulder. The old tape plays in his head, suggesting all sorts of awful things, things like his mother abandoning him, things like not being good enough, things of that nature.

  
“She wanted to protect you.”

  
“From what?” Myself, an old, bitter voice says.   
“Snoke.”

  
And it’s there that Ben’s galaxy as he knows it seems to have turned upside down.


	4. Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben learns some uncomfortable truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“What do you mean that Snoke was after me?” Ben says, and his mouth is dry all the while.

  
“Well, I don’t know if it was Snoke, exactly,” Uncle Luke says, “But your mother talked about a presence watching you when you were a small child.”

  
“I…think I remember,” Ben says, and in his mind, he can hear that voice again, comforting him after another one of his parents’ fights. “But it couldn’t have been Snoke, could it?”

  
“I don’t know. I’ve tried to investigate, but it’s as if the Force is…cloudy. Muddled. Even investigating is difficult.”

  
“But it was after my mother as well?”

  
“Yes. She talked about someone following her. Watching her.”

  
“But it couldn’t have been the same presence, right?” Ben can’t bear to think of it, the idea that his imaginary friend could have been actually trying to hurt him.

  
“She said it felt the same.”

  
Ben lets out a deep breath he hasn’t realized he was holding.

  
“Ben?” Uncle Luke says.

  
“It’s…a lot to take in,” Ben says.

  
“I understand.” Gently, Uncle Luke takes his hand. “I’m sorry, Ben. We should have done more than this. Gone after Snoke ourselves, if we knew where he was in the first place.”

  
“Then maybe we can go and find him,” Ben says. “Once and for all.”


	5. Secret Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a certain revelation has not only a significant impact on Hen's life, but Shara's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Warning for Yana/Snoke being creepy. That's all.

When Ben is nearly twenty-four and Shara nearly four, Casterfo shatters their galaxy. It just takes one sentence to make Ben realize that everything he was is a lie, and he runs. Annie pleads with him, but he runs anyway. He doesn’t pound on the trees; Shara isn’t here, but he can’t risk her hearing her father’s outburst.

  
He runs, and runs far, until he’s in the forest in Yavin, and he falls to his knees and weeps. They’re convulsive sobs, nothing like Ben has really done before but it doesn’t matter. It explains so much, doesn’t it, and Ben wonders how Casterfo found out. And how long his mother knew. Did she even care?

  
Eventually, Ben’s sons die down and he gets to his feet, wipes his eyes. He has to go back. He can’t abandon Shara. He promised.

  
He heads back in, and amidst the whispers and suspicious looks of other Jedi, amidst the insults that for the rest of the day burn like lightsaber blades, he can make it. He knows, in the end, he can make it.

  
***

By the time Shara gets out of her class, she’s in tears. She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and takes several deep breaths. The kids in class were horrible to her. They always were, but their bullying only seemed to intensify ever since the news report. Shara can still hear their taunts ringing in her ears. “Shara’s daddy’s a freak” is one. “Shara’s great-grandpa’s Darth Vader” is another. Shara can still remember how they reacted when she first joined, how they whispered about both Daddy and Papa being “wrong” somehow. But there was nothing bad about them, was there?

  
Shara’s still sniffling when Master Yana shows up. She likes him. At least he’s nice. His voice is low and pleasant even as he says, “Shara…is everything all right?”

  
And before she knows it, she’s telling Yana everything about how she was never accepted when she came here, how the other Jedi hate her, including the Masters, and how they think Daddy and Papa are somehow Strange, and so much more. Yana listens, and when Shara’s done, he says, “Well, Shara, what if I gave you the chance to be stronger than them? Would you take it?”

  
Shara says yes.

  
“Good. And remember,” Yana says, “It’s our little secret.”


	6. Nightmares and Plots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben puts the pieces together, and Snoke regroups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It’s the moment that Ben finds out from Shara who taught her to use her mind-reading skills to terrorize the girls who bullied her that he starts having nightmares.

  
Even in between the procedures of counseling Shara and the other girls, even in the process of exiling Yana after what he’s taught Ben comes to light, Ben starts having nightmares. Nightmares about a living shadow with Yana’s face, stretching out its talons in order to grab Shara by the ankle, dragging her away while Ben’s powerless to save her.

  
And that same voice. That same presence. A presence that comforted him when he was a child, a presence that makes him shiver now. And when he wakes, he knows that Snoke is Yana.

  
Yana is Snoke. And even that realization takes his breath away in shock. All this time, Snoke has been in the Jedi Order. All this time, Snoke had tricked him.

  
How could he have been such a fool?

  
When he tells Uncle Luke about it, Uncle Luke goes pale. Too pale. Then, “You think that Snoke infiltrated the Order?”

  
Ben nods.

  
Luke sighs. “I’m the one who’s foolish,” he says. “I had no idea who Yana really was. If I knew, I never would have let him in. I’m sorry.”

  
“It’s not your fault,” Ben says.

  
Snoke must have been cunning. No, he was cunning. Otherwise, someone would have noticed. Otherwise, his cover would have been blown in that moment.

  
Uncle Luke doesn’t need to blame himself.

  
***

  
To say that Snoke is rankled is putting it mildly. The fact that all of this got unraveled by a child is still something he can’t quite believe. A child! It’s something ridiculous that it happened, but it’s happened nonetheless.   
Still, it’s nothing that’s not curable. He’ll bring Ben and Shara here personally. And from there…from there perhaps he can show them the truth.


End file.
